Back grinding at tournaments

I eventually managed to get back to grinding large tournaments after a week or 2 of struggling to get motivated when I got back from Las Vegas.

On Pokerstars the best results I got were:

-  15th in a $22 tourney with 603 runners (won $109)

- 14th in a $11 rebuy with 1242 runners (won $451)

On Full Tilt the best results I got were:

- 22nd in a $11 tourney with 462 runners (win $22)

- 14th in a $3.30 tourney with 335 runners (win $9)

- 77th in a $26 tourney with 1228 runners (win $41)

- 42nd in a $11 tourney with 622 runners (win $15)

- 87th in an $11 tourney with 887 runners (win $13)

- 45th in a $3.30 rebuy with 1195 runners (win $35)

- 91st in a $26 tourney with 1898 runners (win $64)

Notice a similar theme here. I play a tourney for several hours, get really deep and then fall apart right when the payouts are tiny. All the win amounts are barely more than the buyin and make the whole thing seem pointless.

Motivation - lets see. Play 5 hours in a tourney that cost $11 and win $22 - that's $2.20 an hour for your time. I am obviously not going to make a living if I cannot get better.

I know from last year if I keep grinding away and reading/studying everything I can on how to play the closing stages of a tourney I will get a couple of big cashes and my bankroll will get healthy. Right now though I am just repeating the same old thing - enter a tourney,go deep get in the lower money and crash and burn.

Also I am watching the big online pros still, trying to see how they close out a tournament to get to the final table. But I get frustrated sometimes when I see how easy they make it look. Its never that easy for me!!

I'm gonna figure this all out.....eventually